Many at times when we think of honoring our parents, we think, respecting and esteeming them.
Well, that's very true but that’s just part of it.
According to the Bible, honoring your parents goes beyond just a high respect and esteem for them.
Infact Jesus Himself makes that very clear.
In Matthew 15:1-6, the Bible says:
Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!” Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus, you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.”
Now when Jesus speaks about ‘devoted to God’ in verse 5, He is speaking about Corban. (see Mark 7:11)
Corban was simply something a Jew would dedicate or consecrate to God (a gift or offering of sort) which meant it could not be used for anything else.
A lot of Jews with the help of their religious leaders had found a way to twist this law in their favor and basically use it to deny material support to their parents.
You see, it was a legal requirement in Israel to financially/materially support your parents.
However, once someone said what they had was Corban, the religious leaders had made a stipulation that such a person was absolved from keeping that particular law and they were not obliged to support their parents.
It went without saying that a Jew who did not want to support his/her parents would jump on this opportunity to deny aid to their parents by simply claiming that what he/she could have given to them was Corban even though in truth, they never actually surrendered the material stuff they claimed was Corban to God as required under law. It was just a clever way to get out of having to support their parents.
Ofcourse the religious leaders were in on it and got their cut as a reward for endorsing the vice.
But Jesus saw right through their hypocrisy and called them out for it.
So Jesus regarded supporting your parents financially as honoring them.
Infact the Greek word used for honor is the same one used in 1 Timothy 5:17 which says:
“The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.”
‘Double honor’ here actually means ‘double honorarium’ which speaks of payment i.e. wages.
The NTL translations puts it like this:
“Elders who do their work well should be respected and paid well, especially those who work hard at both preaching and teaching.”
So honor has to do both with respect and material/financial support.
Just claiming you honor your parents, but you do not support them financially when you are in a position to, especially in the case of needy parents, is what the Bible considers lip service. (see Matthew 15:8)
Infact the Bible says you are worse than an unbeliever. (see 1 Timothy 5:8)
When you honor your parents, you honor them with your substance as well, same way the Bible instructs us to do with God. (see Proverbs 3:9)
“Well, James my parents don't deserve my support. They were awful to me growing up.”
It doesn’t matter.
Notice there is no qualification for honoring your father and mother.
So just play your part and let God deal with what they did or did not do to you or for you.
“But James, my parents are well off, they don’t need my support.”
Well, be that as it may, you need the benefits that come with honoring them.
Paul says it is the first commandment with a promise. (see Ephesians 6:1-3)
Again, the Bible does not qualify the honoring.
It does not say, “honor your father and mother only when they are in need or only when they cannot support themselves”. It says,“honor your father and mother”, period.
Infact, it’s kind of the same argument some people who don’t give tithe and/or offering make, “well, my church is doing just fine they don’t need my money.”
Well, the church may not need your money but by not playing your part, you’re the one disobeying God and missing out on the benefits of this biblical principle.
It’s not so much about the receiver but more so about you, the giver.
Your giving is God’s avenue to bless you.
You see, God has set it up in such a way that when you honor your parents you reap the spiritual benefits of it. (see Ephesians 6:3)
When Abraham tithed to Melchizedek, he didn’t do it because Melchizedek was in need or needed anything from him (if anything, Melchizedek was way better off), he understood it's spiritual implications. He wanted the blessing it attracted.
Paul says in Philippians 4:16-17 speaking of the church at Philippi:
“Even when I was in Thessalonica you sent help more than once. Not because I needed the money, my goal is for you to receive the reward that comes with it.”
Now this is not to say our motivation for giving should be for the benefits that come with it.
God is not a slot machine where you put in dimes and get a windfall. It doesn't work like that.
We should never be transactional with God.
We do not give to be blessed but in giving we are blessed.
So honoring your parents is not contingent on whether they were good to you growing up or not or whether they are in need or not or whether they ask (even beg) you for money or not.
Infact, there are no conditions whatsoever.
We should honor them out of obedience to God’s word and an understanding of its spiritual implications for ourselves.
It really baffles me when someone is so willing and generous to support their church, their pastor, their friend, their colleague, even strangers with their money but hesitant (even indignant) to support his/her own parent(s).
That it never crosses the mind of someone who has been consistently making an income month in month out, for years even, to send abit of it to his/her parent(s) on a consistent basis, whether they need it or not or ask for it or not.
What a tragedy.
In truth, supporting your parent(s) financially is not your generosity, it's your responsibility.
Notice i didn't say it's your burden or your obligation.
We should never do it out of obligation or compulsion.
The Bible says God loves a cheerful giver. (see 2 Corinthians 9:7)
God does not want you to give if you don't want to. It profits you nothing according to the Bible.
Bottom line, charity begins at home.
So play your part dutifully, cheerfully and prayerfully.
God bless you.
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